How did we get here, Robert Andino?

McGILLIGAN: Look at how carefree you were two years ago.

A little less so last season.

Seriously angry this year.

You went from a smiling youngster to looking like the kind of grizzled veteran who wouldn’t sign an autograph for a kid from the Children’s Wish Foundation.

How did you end up this way and is your three-year pictorial transformation indicative of the Baltimore Orioles surprising season? There’s a few ways to look at it.

Theory 1: Andino can see the future

In this theory, 2010 Andino is ecstatic because he secretly knows he joined a team with loads of talent that just needs time to mature.

2011 Andino is smirking because he knows what’s going to happen next season and he sees all the pieces falling into place.

2012 Andino is ready for Baltimore to vault past the rest of the American League East. He’s not smiling because it’s all business from here on in, staying focused and winning games.

Theory 2: Losing sucks and it takes a toll

In 2010, Andino was happy to be playing major league baseball. The Orioles lost 96 games that year, but he was just happy to be on the team.

2011 Andino is still happy about being in the majors, but another 93 losses has him a little bit weary.

2012 Andino sits down for his team photo and is not sure he can stand another 90-loss season. Losing sucks, there’s nothing good about.

Theory 3: The Wire

In 2010, Andino was introduced to the gritty crime drama The Wire set in Baltimore. He becomes addicted and watches the first three seasons during West Coast road trips.

2011 Andino watches the depressing fourth season, but realizes its great television.

2012 Andino finishes the fifth season on DVD and gets angry when teammates tell him theres no sixth season.

I’m more apt to believe in theory 2 for a couple of reasons. First, I’ve never met Andino, but I doubt he`s clairvoyant.Second, he and all the other Orioles players must be just as surprised by their start as the rest of baseball. Quick, name five Baltimore Orioles. If you can’t do it, don’t feel bad there are players on the Orioles who can’t do it either. I can’t explain the Orioles strong start this season other than to say it’s a statistical aberration and it won’t last.

What I do know is if we took another photo of Andino today, it would look more like 2010.


3 thoughts on “How did we get here, Robert Andino?

  1. Andrew says:

    Hey Robert, see that ridiculous bird face to your immediate right? That’s going to be your team logo in two years.
    Robert: Hahaha. You’re kidding with me, man.
    Hey Robert, it’s coming next year.
    Robert: Whatever, man,
    Hey Robert, how do you feel about that silly logo on your hat?

  2. Nathan White says:

    Definitely Theory 3. Or possibly Theory 1 and he actually sees how the world is going to end in 2012 and has therfore adopted a look of hopeless desperation.

  3. Andrew says:

    Very funny, good piece by the way.

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